Tonight, friends, I'm stuck on this idea of "settling" in the relationship sense. While sitting @ dinner with 5 relatively randomly grouped people, I realized I was present for the growth of a new relationship. The only other girl (age 22) was there after having only 1 date with a guy (at least into his 30's).
The thought struck me that those two really have no idea what they are getting into but that it's absolutely beautiful to see the honeymoon phase in others. I never would have put those two together if I could hand-pick couples from a crowd. What could they possibly have in common?? My guess, although critical, points to the fact that each is an upgrade for the other. He gets the younger, hotter woman and she gets the guy who got an education and can financially take care of her so she doesn't have to waitress any longer. My guess only....
The thought also came up that she could do better but is settling for him. (Notice I don't give a crap about him LOL) Settling though...what the hell does that mean?? Don't we all have to settle for someone??? If you think about it, not a single significant other is going to have all the perfectly balancing qualities you need in your life. You have to settle for coping with things, fighting for things or trying to work on certain aspects of that person. Besides that...everything is just a quality factor. A job, salary, value system, behavior, etc. is all just a contributing factor to which we rank for what we feel we DESERVE and then measure every potential love up to. Even love itself....sometimes we don't love someone as much as we feel we deserve to love the person we are going to be with for the rest of our life. So we let them go on the boundary that we don't want to "settle." How am I supposed feel about that?
The thought struck me that those two really have no idea what they are getting into but that it's absolutely beautiful to see the honeymoon phase in others. I never would have put those two together if I could hand-pick couples from a crowd. What could they possibly have in common?? My guess, although critical, points to the fact that each is an upgrade for the other. He gets the younger, hotter woman and she gets the guy who got an education and can financially take care of her so she doesn't have to waitress any longer. My guess only....
The thought also came up that she could do better but is settling for him. (Notice I don't give a crap about him LOL) Settling though...what the hell does that mean?? Don't we all have to settle for someone??? If you think about it, not a single significant other is going to have all the perfectly balancing qualities you need in your life. You have to settle for coping with things, fighting for things or trying to work on certain aspects of that person. Besides that...everything is just a quality factor. A job, salary, value system, behavior, etc. is all just a contributing factor to which we rank for what we feel we DESERVE and then measure every potential love up to. Even love itself....sometimes we don't love someone as much as we feel we deserve to love the person we are going to be with for the rest of our life. So we let them go on the boundary that we don't want to "settle." How am I supposed feel about that?
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