Having one of those double-edge swords kind of nights. There's nothing more I dislike than having to own up to negative thoughts/feelings towards another person. The reality is that I'm ready to date someone seriously again. Apparently it takes me longer than it does the ex. Heh...if I'm not mistaken, he's been in a serious relationship for quite some time. I wonder why that is??? Anyway, one of my greatest flaws is that I know very quickly if someone is worth taking another step for but if I'm having fun, I don't always exactly....put that out on the table.
So this someone I've been around the last few weeks is attractive, clever, cultured, and close to his family. Those characteristics were listed in order of my increasing love of them. However, I found out rather vaguely through prying that he has a very seriously complex and incriminating past. Those poor decisions previously made out of youth, poverty, happenstance geographical location, and lack of positive guidance have set him up for a life of working very hard for very little. It's also has a pattern of drug involvement; although, the impact it's making on his current situation is significantly less these days.
The primary reasoning I utilize in deciding if someone is worth a next step (i.e. dating to continue dating) is answering the question "Am I willing to stand behind him to my family?" My family is in no way offensive or would intentionally put me in a situation where I would have to do that. The truth is though, that's my measurement for whether or not I think I could stick up for them when they make mistakes, make decisions, or don't live up to some quality my family believes I deserve (out of love). Truthfully, his past makes me not trust him to make good decisions for me, a potential relationship, or even himself for that matter. So the answer is no, no further stepage going on with this one.
The dig=that moment when he comes out and asks, "What do you think of me? Are you getting feelings for me? What are we? Etc." Dang. Hate that. Well, now it's man-up time and I had to put it out there. My answer was, "well I like parts of you." Then we got real and it all came out. The result was a silent exit made by said someone with silent treatment hereafter. Dang. What do you do though!?! Well, hmmm it was fun while it lasted :) Se la vi, friend.
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