It's easy for me to see how people would think I have it awesome right now. Young, no kids, single, independent, traveling, making some awesome money, etc. are things that I myself have working for me. My heart isn't in it though. Being one of the least materialistic people you'll ever meet, it shouldn't be a surprise that the money doesn't make me happy. It doesn't even phase me. All that paycheck does is make life easier...not better. I shut myself out this weekend. It doesn't matter. No one will be missing me. I think I miss myself more than anyone out there. This is an empty lifestyle. There's no one to call to go to dinner or just to grab some coffee when I need out of my house. There's no one that can relate to what I do or my life here. True laughter has been out of my life for over a year now and to be honest, it doesn't matter where I go b/c my heart just isn't in it. It's thousands of miles away...tucked into someone else's past. I know where it is...but waiting for it to come back to me sucks. I'm just wandering aimlessly until then....
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