When I began this job (this life), I had no idea the impact it would have on my relationships with people. It's never really been difficult for me to make friends or meet men to at least have a crush on. When I began this traveling, I had just made the decision to walk away from a list of giant life choices I had made in the previous year which had all failed. My CFY was tumultuous, my job was unethical and overly demanding, my cost of living to income ratio kept me broke, my new city was cold literally and figuratively, my family didn't support my efforts, and to top the cake...my love had turned into my burden. I had to just walk away and if you've ever done that with anything in life, you realize how unbelievably difficult it can be.
At that time, relationships were the last thing on my mind. I didn't care if I had friends or love. I wanted my own space, money and interests to acquire. Yep, I didn't really have anything going for myself because I was so wrapped up in the ex. Girl mistake 101. Well folks, that was a year and a half ago. Now I'm a place where I want people around me. I want consistency. I want love. I look for connections. What I have taken from everything that has occurred in my lifetime is one very important thing. Consistency facilitates progression. I have never had stability in any part of my entire life and maybe that's why I feel so comfortably living a lifestyle of constant change and uncertainty. Who knows....
What I do know is that I have my own interests now. I have things to bring to the table for anyone I may be so lucky to spend time with in my future. I'm ready for my life to progress and I am ready for consistency. I just need to find time for it :)
At that time, relationships were the last thing on my mind. I didn't care if I had friends or love. I wanted my own space, money and interests to acquire. Yep, I didn't really have anything going for myself because I was so wrapped up in the ex. Girl mistake 101. Well folks, that was a year and a half ago. Now I'm a place where I want people around me. I want consistency. I want love. I look for connections. What I have taken from everything that has occurred in my lifetime is one very important thing. Consistency facilitates progression. I have never had stability in any part of my entire life and maybe that's why I feel so comfortably living a lifestyle of constant change and uncertainty. Who knows....
What I do know is that I have my own interests now. I have things to bring to the table for anyone I may be so lucky to spend time with in my future. I'm ready for my life to progress and I am ready for consistency. I just need to find time for it :)
No comments:
Post a Comment